Accountability and Affirmation, Baby Version 2.0

Oh. Hello.

You know, I've missed the blog. I spent some time the other night reading old posts and reliving some of those memories. Pretty nuts.

So I guess the most obvious question would be, "Why haven't you written if you missed it? Couldn't you just write and then not miss it?"

To which I say, that's a fair point.

I guess the most obvious answer is the dramatic lack of conflict from my life in the months since I last wrote. I typically like to write to exorcise, you know, feelings. And I mean, the desire to exorcise good feelings just isn't that strong, you know?

I'm 30 (I know right? What the fuck.), and I'm more content than I've ever been -- for a lot of reasons. The lovely Lola (aka Emily haha) re-entered my life last spring, and it's been a whirlwind of awesome since. The friends with whom I debauched previously are more settled, too.

In short (LULZ, yeah right, BG), writing things like, "Today I felt good," over and over wasn't as appealing.

And so I guess the second most obvious question would, "Why write now then?"

To which I say, suck on it and like it. I don't know! I just felt like it. Whatevs!

OK there's sort of a reason. One of the main things I wrote about was my weight-loss odyssey. Well, I'd like to restart it. When you're in a happy relationship, and you're content and satisfied, I think the natural tendency is to slide a little. You eat out a little more. You eat a few more cupcakes than you should. Etc. Etc.

Did I undo everything I worked so hard for two years ago? No, no, no. I put back a few pounds though, like you do, and I'd like to unput them back on. So I figured, why the eff not. It helped last time. Let's give it another go.

So what's the plan?

Well, I have a new job (HEY OH), and my office building has a full gym in it with treadmills, free weights, weight machines, etc. Free access to a full gym? Sold. I'm planning on three days of weights and three days of running. I'll stick to the treadmill for now because it's the dead of winter and PASS on running outside when it's colder than 50.

Sound good? Good.

And of course I'm hoping for plenty of pithy posts, containing too many sentences begun with conjunctions. Because that's how I roll.

Who knows -- maybe I'll even write something some of you find entertaining from time to time. But don't hold your breath, AMIRITE. I'm so rite.

Questions? Comments? Concerns? You know where to find me.

-BG

The Single Life

Here's a fact about me that is both absolutely stunning and absolutely true: I've never really been single.

Over the past 14 years, I've been engaged (twice) more often than I've been single for longer than a couple weeks (once). I'll pause here for that to sink in. LULZ.

Yeah, so THAT happened.

I've had relationships, and those relationships have ended; but, more often than not, I slid into another relationship within a couple of weeks -- if that long, in some cases. I like to joke that I'm a serial monogamist.

Casual dating and sleeping around has never really been something I've been particularly interested in or adept at making work. I'm much more suited to serious relationships. And I don't think there's necessarily anything wrong with that, especially since I'm aware of it, and I take steps to try to manage it haha. But it's definitely how I am.

The ex-girl and I split some months back now, and a strange thing happened to me. I was consumed, not with finding another girlfriend, but with getting my shit straight. I'm sure that's a normal reaction for most people, but in high school and college, I always just wanted to find another girlfriend. It was always my gut instinct.

And as Rob Gordon says in High Fidelity, "I've been listening to my gut since I was 14 years old, and, frankly speaking, I've come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains."

I mean, seriously, brief aside: how brilliant is that movie/book? Love it.

So yeah. There you go. Previously, after a break-up, all I really wanted was to find a girlfriend because I didn't particularly like being alone. But really, who does?

Like I said, this time felt different. For the first time, I absolutely didn't care about talking to girls or trying to go on dates or whatever. Don't get me wrong, I gave it a few half-hearted attempts over the past few months, but it became clear I wasn't into it. I had no interest in trying to date someone else. At all.

Perhaps it was my gut having its first good idea since I was 14 years old. I don't know.

I know what you're probably thinking. This is a post to convince others (and myself) that it's OK I don't have a girlfriend and I promise everything is OK and please believe me!

Couldn't be further from the truth, and I believe I have a convincing argument.

First of all, it's been the unanimous opinion of every friend I've seen recently that they cannot believe how happy and energetic and full of life I am now. Exact words are usually something like, "Wow, the difference between talking to you now and talking to you four or five months ago is incredible. You seem happier than I've ever seen you." Four or five months ago was pretty much the lowest point I'd ever been at, if you'll recall.

That tells me everything I've been working so hard on these past few months has been totally and completely worth it and successful.

Second, spending serious time working out and watching what I eat has been one of the best things I could have ever done for myself. Look, obviously I'm not saying I didn't do these things because I was in a relationship. That's nonsensical.

But would I have felt the same urge, desire and motivation to push myself as hard as I continue to push myself if I were NOT single? I'm not sure. I do know that being single gave me a LOT more time to spend lifting weights, walking Allie and running.

And let's be honest, you can say "hey sweetheart, how do you feel about chicken breast, steamed veggies and tuna for dinner?" only so often. When you're with someone, even when you cook together, it's SOOO easy to fall into unhealthy eating habits. I have had my share of that. Plus, there's going out to dinner and dates and etc. You know how it goes.

I needed to be extreme with my food choices for a while to instill good habits and discipline. I'm in a much better place with that now. I make much smarter decisions with food now than I ever have. I eat less food now than I ever have. God I'm so happy with this haha. I'm just so much healthier than I've ever been, it's ridiculous.

Next, going out with my friends as much as I have been. Again, I'm NOT saying I couldn't have gone out with my friends when I wasn't single. That's illogical. Of course I could have. But you know. Let's be reasonable. There are only so many times when you can say, "hey sweetheart, I'm going downtown to drink with my friends three times this week, cool?" I'm just saying. That would probably wear thin on ANY significant other after a while, and probably understandably so. But at the same time, I needed it. Big time.

As I (jokingly, of course) said to Nick in Raleigh, life can be a lot of fun when you don't have to worry about disappointing and/or embarrassing a girl haha. That's clearly NOT serious, but you know what I'm saying. It's probably not as easy to go home and have the following exchange, "So what did you do tonight?" "Oh you know. Danced like an ass for four hours."

Finally, did you read what I wrote up there? I've been engaged twice, and I haven't been single since I was approximately 15 years old. I think some time to myself to figure out my own shit was a little overdue, don't you?

As my friend Ashlee said to me, it's hard to find out who you are when you find yourself as half of a whole for so long. Well said! And true!

Before this summer, the longest I'd been single since I was 15 years old was less than six weeks. And even then, it wasn't really six weeks of being single because we never stopped speaking, hanging out or living together. So you know. There's that.

I have never taken the opportunity to look at myself, to improve on the things I felt needed improvement or to figure out what I truly want. I am 29 years old, friends. I'm a grown-ass man, dawg. It's been well past time for a while now for a little self-analysis and reflection.

I'm not saying I have it all figured out. It's only been, what, four months? But I have a much better perspective on myself. I'm in SUCH a better place mentally and physically right now. It's difficult even to comprehend where I was back in April.

The improvements I've made since then -- I mean, wow. There really aren't words for it. My energy level is through the ROOF. So much so, in fact, that J. Mike referred to dancing all night as "pulling a BG." I'm nearly at my goal weight of 180 pounds (from an all-time high of almost 230 pounds), which will only be a pit-stop on my way to 170 or 175 or even 165. Who knows.

I am comfortably running at least four miles three times a week. And I'm running five miles on the weekends. I made ridiculous improvements on my 5k time a few weeks ago. I'm now looking toward making similarly significant progress on my half-marathon time of 2:19:51.

I've been setting personal bests in one-mile, two-mile, three-mile and four-mile times almost daily for weeks now. I've almost got my one-mile time under eight minutes. My two-mile time is hovering right around 16 or 17 minutes. I recorded my best-ever four-mile time last week before I went to Raleigh.

I said GODDAMN it feels good to be a gangsta.

So. All of that is to say this: the past four months or so. Being single, being alone by my own designs and of my own volition for once and NOT trying to hop into another relationship is the best thing that's ever happened to me.

Like I said, I don't have it all figured out. But I have a much greater understanding of who I am and what I want -- things I'd never really bothered to consider before. All that running allows for a lot of reflection and thought.

Now, all of THAT is to say this: I think it's finally time. I feel like I'm ready to see other people and finally put all of my rediscovered awesomeness to good use, no? Although my new perspective on things is also most definitely telling me we'll take things slow this time as compared to, say, every other time in my life. Lulz.

It's been four months, and I've spent a hell of a lot of time working on myself. Feels like a good time to put myself back out there.

Let's go, friends. LET. US. GO.

-BG

It's been two weeks

First of all, happy birthday to me! I turn 27 today (June 23). So, hooray for that. :)

Now that that's out of the way, I thought I'd give a run-down of all things DC. What I like, what I don't like, what's interesting...etc. Keep in mind, it's only been two weeks, so I'm obviously missing a lot. This is just a little bit about what I've found in my first two weeks in the nation's capital.

Warning, this is a long entry. You know I'm a wordy writer; it's how I roll. But I figure, I'm living in a new place, why not share my experiences so far? It takes some words to do that. So here you go!

Things I like about DC:

1. Riding the Metro

Awful tragedy yesterday aside, riding the Metro is fantastic. It's so easy, it's so quick and it's so cheap. It costs me $3.30 per day to get to and from work. Multiply that by 22 (days works in a month, not including weekends, obviously) and you get $72.60. Now factor in how I don't drive at all around the city. Get gas twice and tell me how much it costs. More than $72? I think so too. And I would need to get gas more than twice in a month.

Oh yeah, but work pays for my Metro usage to get to and from the office. So, yeah. That's a pretty great perk. The station is a block and a half from my house, and it gets you where you need to go quickly and efficiently. I'm a fan so far.

2. Turkey Avocado sandwich at Rumi

Rumi is a Mediterranean restaurant across the street from my office. The turkey avocado sandwich there is just fantastic. Turkey, melted provolone, tomato, lettuce, cucumber and avocado on large pita bread. Add some fries and a can of soda, all for $8, and you've got my lunch of choice now that the closest Jersey Mike's is 65 miles away.

Seriously, so good, and right across the street. Also, not even that bad. That's a reasonably healthy sandwich for lunch.

I'm still looking for a good REAL deli sandwich. One of my roommates mentioned a place called Vace (VA-chay) in Cleveland Park (a neighborhood west of here). It's a little Italian deli, and it's supposedly awesome. Undoubtedly, it's on my list of places to try in the next couple of weeks.

3. Walking Distance

I live within walking distance of almost everything I need to do day to day. Target, Best Buy, the Metro station, the grocery store, a Wachovia, Radio Shack, Staples and a 24-hour CVS are all within a 5- to 10-minute walk away. Excellent. I end up walking a couple miles per day just going about my business.

Which leads into my next item...

4. Not Driving

I don't have to drive anywhere. The only time I have to drive is to leave DC to go to Raleigh or Charlotte or New Jersey or wherever. It's pretty nice not to have to drive anywhere day to day. It's a short item on my list of things I like, but it's true nonetheless.

5. Living in a City

I don't think I'm surprising anyone when I say I'm more of a city guy than anything. I was born 25 minutes from the biggest city in the world. I lived in the two biggest cities in North Carolina. I lived just outside of Tampa, Fla., and I lived in Clinton, S.C. One of these things is not like the other. One of these things doesn't quite belong.

You guessed it...good ol' Clinton. Don't get me wrong, I loved writing for the Chronicle, and I loved the people I worked with, but living in Clinton wasn't my cup of tea. I'm much more suited to city life. No doubt. And here I am in Washington, D.C., living in the nation's capital. This is nice, I have to say.

I like walking out my door and walking to the Metro station to use mass transit to get to work. I like leaving the Metro station downtown and walking out and being surrounded by city life. People on their way to do important things. Sort-of-tall buildings all around (more on this later), cars speeding around...THINGS are going on. It just feels good. It's fun. :-)

6. Where I Live

I live in a row house in the Columbia Heights neighborhood. To be more accurate, I live in the basement apartment of the house with another guy. Three girls live in the house upstairs, but we have keys to the house to use the kitchen and laundry room.

My roommates' best guess is this house could be about 100 years old. It really is a charming little Victorian row house. Pictures are available on my Facebook page for those who haven't seen just yet.

It's plenty of space for me, and it's extremely affordable, which is pretty important for now. Also, my roommates are pretty excellent. Everyone is so nice, and they're really trying to make me feel welcome here. We're having a house dinner tonight (on my birthday!) to "officially" welcome me to the house. They're making manicotti! It's going to be a good time.

So yeah. I like the house, and I like my new roommates. Good times all around.

7. Work

I really enjoy my new job. It's great; it really is. I really liked my old job, and I genuinely miss some of the people I worked with there, without a doubt. But this is a great opportunity for me. In hindsight, getting laid off is one of the best things that's happened to me.

I have more responsibilities, more work and more clients. The people I work with are fun, and they're really trying to make me feel welcome in the office. The office culture is relaxed, but everyone works hard, so that's good.

The dress code is a bit more strict. During the spring, fall and winter, the regular dress code for guys is shirt and tie. After all, it is the capital, and more clients work in the area, so we try to look a bit more professional than most PR firms, which usually adopt a more casual dress code. During the summer we have a business casual code, which means I don't have to wear a shirt and tie when it's hot out. I appreciate that. I also appreciate my office having its own individual AC unit.

All in all, I really enjoy the work I'm doing -- especially the nuclear energy client, that's a lot of fun -- and I'm really happy I accepted this job.

Things I don't like about DC:

1. Not having Anne and Allie

Look, this goes without saying. I miss my girls. That's really all there is to say. For the past three years, I've been able to see them every day, and now I can't. That takes some getting used to, but I believe this is what's best for our little family. It sets us up in the best possible way for the future, so here we are. It'll be OK; it's just an adjustment.

2. People

OK, that's not REALLY true. More specifically, I have a problem with the people who decide to walk unbelievably slowly when trying to transfer between trains. Folks, I've got someplace to be. Whether it's work or home, I'd like to get there sooner rather than later. So let's try either to pick up the pace just a little bit, or abide by the normal rules of human travel: slower traffic keep to the right.

Some people just don't get it.

3. Rolling Suitcases on the Metro

I know these are necessary sometimes. The Metro is a means to travel back and forth between Reagan National Airport, and sometimes people need to carry suitcases. These rolling suitcases, though, take up so much space. It's impossible to maneuver them around the tight spaces and cramped cars, so people (myself included, from time to time) inevitably end up tripping over them. No thank you, sir.

Take your rolling bag and remove it from my path, por favor. Thankfully, I have yet to experience the nightmare that is someone stopping at the top of the escalator to mess with his/her rolling suitcase. Although, on the topic of escalators...please, ladies and gentlemen, stand right, walk left. Say it with me now: stand right, walk left. It's not hard. Please. I'm begging you for my sanity and everyone else's who walks around like responsible people.

4. Walking in the Rain

The downside to walking everywhere. Sometimes it rains. Even when it rains, I've walked to the office from the Metro station. It doesn't matter if I have an umbrella or not, my legs always get soaked. It's not comfortable, but I still wouldn't trade it. It's manageable, so it's OK.


Interesting Things I Neither Like Nor Dislike:

1. It's not "the city," it's "the district"

Pretty self-explanatory, no? I've called it "the city" before, but it is apparently referred to as "the district" as an alternative to saying Washington or DC.

2. Building Heights

None of the buildings in the district (see what I did there?) are taller than the Washington Monument.

According to Wikipedia: "After the construction of the twelve-story Cairo Apartment Building in 1899, Congress passed the Heights of Buildings Act, which declared that no building could be taller than the Capitol. The Act was amended in 1910 to restrict building height to the width of the adjacent street plus 20 feet (6.1 m). Today the skyline remains low and sprawling, in keeping with Thomas Jefferson's wishes to make Washington an 'American Paris' with 'low and convenient' buildings on 'light and airy' streets. As a result, the Washington Monument remains the District's tallest structure."

Interesting. I like my brother's story better, even if it's probably not true. He says the Secret Service doesn't want the buildings to be any taller than the Washington Monument because they don't want the roofs of any building to have a line of sight on the White House. You know, for snipers, and such.

That story is more fun, and maybe there's some truth to it, but there you go. Either way. If you made it this far, thanks for reading. I appreciate all of you. Leave me some love. Any suggestions on places I should check out? Places to avoid? Let me know!

-BG

Cruelty-Free Eats in Raleigh

Not everyone is vegan or vegetarian, but we all pretty much know someone who is at this point. I'm sure anyone reading this knows Anne is vegan, and here are a few places we've found where she can get a good meal (read: not just a salad), and I can also eat very well.

From Anne's blog:

Cruelty-Free Eats in Raleigh

The South is known for pulled pork barbecue, buttered biscuits, and deep fried everything. Becoming vegan in the fried chicken mecca of the world, I was nervous and a little intimidated by the thought of finding food in restaurants that I could eat. But I have come to realize that the Triangle offers tons of vegan and vegetarian-friendly options, if you know where to look. Many locally owned restaurants take advantage of NC farmers and mold their menus around fresh, local produce. With a substitution here and there, I’ve found it easy and delicious to eat vegan in Raleigh. Here are my top three restaurant picks:

1. Lilly’s Pizza, Five Points.

Ask me what my last meal would be and I would respond without hesitation, “Lilly’s pizza.” I’ll admit, I’m a pizza fanatic despite my nixing of animal products. It’s the one food I could not get off my mind when I decided to become vegan. When I heard that Lilly’s offers veganrella (it’s just what it sounds like) as a topping option, my eyes welled up with joyful tears. Ever since, Lilly’s has been a staple in my diet. They offer an abundance of super fresh toppings for their pies, and their menu also features calzones, pastas, and salads. They even have a vegan stromboli, stuffed with grilled tofu. My boyfriend, a half-Italian boy from New Jersey (and a self-proclaimed pizza snob) swears Lilly’s has some of the best pizza he’s ever tasted. The hole-in-the-wall pizza place has been continually awarded “Best in the Triangle” by The Independent. One warning: If you aren’t in the mood for close quarters, yelling servers, and thick smoke from the kitchen, call ahead and order for pickup. The place is always jam-packed, no matter what time of the day. Despite the crowd, it’s a fun place to eat. The eclectic decor and showcase of art from local artists will always keep you entertained while dining. Just go!

2. Irregardless Cafe, W. Morgan St. by Charlie Goodnight’s

Irregardless has been a Raleigh cornerstone for vegetarians long before I was born. Actually, my dad used to take my mom on dates there when he was a student at N.C. State in the seventies. When Irregardless opened its doors in 1975, it was a vegetarian-only restaurant. Since then, the owners have altered the menu to include fare for meat eaters as well. But, locally grown fruits and vegetables are still at the heart of the Irregardless experience. The owners take a trip to Raleigh’s farmer’s market daily to pick out fresh produce. The menu changes often, but always includes at least two or three vegan entrees. I am completely hooked on the portobello polenta. The portobello is grilled to give it a smokey, meaty taste, and the polenta is so smooth, it almost melts in your mouth. My mom and I had our Thanksgiving dinner at Irregardless last year. As usual, they offered a satisfying vegan alternative to the traditional turkey dinner: stuffed butternut squash with a fresh cranberry salad. And the desserts! I always save room for dessert when I go. So far, I’ve tried the vegan chocolate cake, the fresh blueberry crisp, and a vegan peach tart - all of which have been surprisingly delicious to not have used milk or eggs. Tables are tight, but the restaurant features live music nightly. If you are in Raleigh, it’s a must visit.

3. Solomon’s Mediterranean, Celebration at Six Forks

Greek food, and most Mediterranean food in general, is usually vegetarian and vegan-friendly. And when I want Greek, I always go to Solomon’s. Brian took me here after noticing a portobello pita wrap on the menu that he thought I would love. The mushroom is sliced and lightly breaded, drizzled with a generous helping of a sweet and tangy balsamic dressing, and wrapped in a warm pita stuffed with lettuce and tomato. The wrap quickly became one of my favorite meals. And of course, no Greek restaurant would be complete without my favorite appetizer - homemade tahini hummus with warm pita bread and olives. Mm-mm good.

I’m always on the look out for new, vegan-friendly restaurants to try, so if you have any tips, please let me know!

Next on my list to try: The Flying Biscuit, Cameron Village. My friend Danielle tipped me off that this popular restaurant in Cameron Village offers a variety of vegan options, including Tofu’N’Tater salad. And for those who are meat eaters, TFB specializes in non stop breakfast, and interesting entrees like Coca-Cola glazed salmon.