The List

I'm overwhelmed with the desire and the compulsion to get out and do things. I have a tremendous amount of energy, and I find I must be out doing things most of the time now. I actually get antsy now if I stay put for too long.

A while back, I asked on Twitter and Facebook for blog ideas, and Erik's dad suggested writing about things I've always wanted to do but haven't yet for whatever reason. So, credit for this idea goes to Mr. H. I've adapted it a little bit. The job situation threw off a lot of things I wanted to do and ruined a lot of plans I had. But it's time to stop using that as an excuse. I'm perfectly capable of doing whatever the hell I want to do anyway.

The focus of this list isn't so much things I've always wanted to do but haven't yet, it's things I absolutely intend to do going forward over the next six-to-12 months or so. These may be things I've done before but not in a while or things I haven't had the chance to do yet.

In either case, here's a list of 10 things I will accomplish in the coming year. Not all of them may be spectacularly interesting to you, but they're things I want to do. Make your own damn list if you have a problem with mine!

In no particular order:

1. Half-Marathon

I will run another half-marathon. The Bermuda half-marathon I found is likely a pipe-dream. It would just be really expensive to get myself there, no matter how worth it the race might be.

But there are others! Mike and I are currently discussing a DC race in March -- the Rock 'n Roll Marathon/Half-Marathon on March 17. It starts and finishes at RFK Stadium, and the course is throughout downtown DC. Basically, it's awesome.

The race is a Saturday, so we could kill the race, and then wear our medals out when we go out Saturday night. Now to work on Nick so he'll run the half with me. Mike will run the full. No thank you, sir. I did my first half alone, so it would be fine either way. But we'd need Nick to go out Saturday night -- no question.

Training would start by the end of December. I love the idea of a March half-marathon. I don't love the idea of training throughout the winter, but c'est la vie. It will help keep my ass from refatting up, for sure.

Also, not only will I run another half-marathon, I will beat the time (2:19:51) from my first half-marathon.

2. Warrior Dash

I will complete a Warrior Dash. As I mentioned in a post earlier this month, I have my sights set on a race in south Florida at the beginning of December. One of my sister's best friends wants to run in it, and I'd love to do it as well.

It's essentially a 5k for the mentally unstable, and it includes rope climbs, mud-pit crawls, leaping over flaming logs, etc. You know, the usual. So, so great. I really can't wait to do one of these.

Plus, you get a viking helmet for completing the race!

3. Join a Band

I've also written about this on the blog before. Once the job situation is cleared up, I plan to scour Craigslist to find a band looking for a drummer. I want the band to be a bunch of relaxed, drama-free people who want to play some fun music that gets people dancing. Some original songs, some cover songs. Let's just have some fun.

I really, really want to play live music in front of an audience again. What a rush, man. I miss that, for sure.

4. Skiing

I went skiing for the first time in my life a little less than two years ago with the ex-girl and some friends from the ex-job. It was magnificent. It was exhilarating. There aren't enough good things to say about it.

I fell down, because of course I did. I went too fast. I had no idea what I was doing. It was awesome. Awesome!

I will go again this winter. Who knows, maybe I can get some friends together and pull off an actual ski weekend. How ridiculous would that be? Very ridiculous.

5. New York

New York is my favorite city in the United States. By far. My extended family lives close by, and I have some friends who live there as well.

I want a weekend in the city with everyone who can make it. I want to go to the top of the Empire State building again. I want to see Ground Zero again. I want to go to a Yankee game again. I want to go to the top of the Statue of Liberty.

Yes, I want to be a moronic tourist. And then I want to go out until the bars close at 4 a.m. (ATTN: NICK, MIKE AND EVERYONE. WE MUST DO THIS.).

Or I want to go for a weekend with some of my DC friends. Why not? It's only a few-hour drive away.

I haven't been to New York in a while. Maybe two years? Too long. Let's do this.

6. Cousins Weekend

I wrote extensively about my weekend in Savannah with my uncle and cousins. It was one of the most ridiculous weekends I've ever had.

We will do it again. Jeb and I already began preliminary discussions about the next weekend. We think April-ish might be the best time for it since the weather is mostly good anywhere then.

We have a few ideas for other cities, but we also kind of feel like a Savannah sequel would be pretty awesome.

In any case, beware. A pack of Grossmans will invade someplace this spring and cause scenes of debauchery all over the place. LET'S GO!

7. Look Good

My weekend in Raleigh set me back a few pounds, but it wasn't crazy. I'm so, so close to my goal weight of 180 pounds. It's unbelievable. When I set the goal, 180 seemed so far away -- an impossible pie-in-the-sky number I'd never reach. Now I'm within five-to-seven pounds of the goal.

I've said it before, but I won't stop at 180. My updated goal will be more body-fat-percentage related than weight-related. When I was up near 230 pounds back in the Spring, my body fat was 30 percent. Yikes.

I've gotten it down to 22 percent since then, which is an awesome improvement. But there's still work to do. I'd love to get down to 17 percent. That's my ultimate goal. Really, it's about fitting comfortably into smaller clothes, which I've been doing a LOT lately. I'm down from extra-large shirts to medium shirts in some cases. And I've recently downgraded from 38-inch jeans to 34-inch jeans.

Still work to do. Can't get satisfied or complacent. Gotta push as hard as I ever have. Time to crank up the intensity in the gym.

CAN'T WAIT.

8. Run More 5Ks

If you've ever completed a race of any kind, you know how insane it is. Doesn't matter what the distance is. Running a race gets the adrenaline and the blood pumping like nothing else. After I absolutely kicked the ass of my last 5K, I want to run more.

I just love the race atmosphere. And competing against myself and pushing myself to do better than I did last time. It's a hell of a drug.

So why not run more 5Ks? No real good reason not to! The half-marathon training program I use calls for a 5K race about halfway through, so I'll aim for one around then. It also calls for a 10K race three weeks before the half-marathon, so I'll also look for one of those!

I'm so excited right now haha.

9. Camping

I haven't been camping since I was 14 years old. I remember loving it then. I went with a couple friends and one of the friend's parents.

We ended up breaking the tent somehow. I'm not sure what we did, but I know we were not successful in constructing the tent. We also made it impossible to be successful constructing the tent somehow. We ended up putting the tent exterior on the ground to sleep on and hanging a tarp in the trees above our heads so we were covered in some way. Lulz.

I'd absolutely love to go camping again. A decent tent isn't even that expensive. You can get an OK tent for like $60 at Dick's.

Sounds like an awesome weekend to me. Bring some friends, some alcohol and hang out in the woods? Yes and please.

Also, it would give me a chance to take part in one of my absolute FAVORITE pastimes -- staring at the stars. I can (and have, by the way) lie down and stare at the stars for hours on end. I'm fascinated. Always have been.

Even now, if I walk outside at night, I instinctively look up just to see what there is. Unfortunately, living so close to the city, there isn't much. If we went camping far enough away, I bet we could see some kick ass stars.

10. Kayaking

I've been kayaking a couple of times with my family on big family vacations with aunts, uncles and the aforementioned cousins.

I remember humorous situations involving my sister refusing to paddle anymore, leaving me to propel the two-person kayak on my own. And large insects/spiders falling into the kayak with us. I care less for the insects.

But the kayaking itself! It's a tough workout, man, but I remember loving it. There are a shit-ton of rivers around here. I bet it's possible to kayak in them.

DC friends, seems like it would be a good way to burn some of the calories we take in on some weekend nights, no?

There are other things I'd like to do, like visit California, spend some time in Europe, go snorkeling again, SCUBA, etc. But it seems irresponsible to do some/all of those things with the job situation uncertain. Baby steps first. I'm excited about every item on this list though; I know that much.

Once the job situation becomes clear, perhaps I'll update the list with things that will be more possible then.

Until then, I can't wait to start checking things off.

Do you have any interest in doing any of these things with me? Seriously, please let me know! We'll make some plans, and knock out some of this list.

Thanks for reading, as always. See you Monday!

-BG

The Single Life

Here's a fact about me that is both absolutely stunning and absolutely true: I've never really been single.

Over the past 14 years, I've been engaged (twice) more often than I've been single for longer than a couple weeks (once). I'll pause here for that to sink in. LULZ.

Yeah, so THAT happened.

I've had relationships, and those relationships have ended; but, more often than not, I slid into another relationship within a couple of weeks -- if that long, in some cases. I like to joke that I'm a serial monogamist.

Casual dating and sleeping around has never really been something I've been particularly interested in or adept at making work. I'm much more suited to serious relationships. And I don't think there's necessarily anything wrong with that, especially since I'm aware of it, and I take steps to try to manage it haha. But it's definitely how I am.

The ex-girl and I split some months back now, and a strange thing happened to me. I was consumed, not with finding another girlfriend, but with getting my shit straight. I'm sure that's a normal reaction for most people, but in high school and college, I always just wanted to find another girlfriend. It was always my gut instinct.

And as Rob Gordon says in High Fidelity, "I've been listening to my gut since I was 14 years old, and, frankly speaking, I've come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains."

I mean, seriously, brief aside: how brilliant is that movie/book? Love it.

So yeah. There you go. Previously, after a break-up, all I really wanted was to find a girlfriend because I didn't particularly like being alone. But really, who does?

Like I said, this time felt different. For the first time, I absolutely didn't care about talking to girls or trying to go on dates or whatever. Don't get me wrong, I gave it a few half-hearted attempts over the past few months, but it became clear I wasn't into it. I had no interest in trying to date someone else. At all.

Perhaps it was my gut having its first good idea since I was 14 years old. I don't know.

I know what you're probably thinking. This is a post to convince others (and myself) that it's OK I don't have a girlfriend and I promise everything is OK and please believe me!

Couldn't be further from the truth, and I believe I have a convincing argument.

First of all, it's been the unanimous opinion of every friend I've seen recently that they cannot believe how happy and energetic and full of life I am now. Exact words are usually something like, "Wow, the difference between talking to you now and talking to you four or five months ago is incredible. You seem happier than I've ever seen you." Four or five months ago was pretty much the lowest point I'd ever been at, if you'll recall.

That tells me everything I've been working so hard on these past few months has been totally and completely worth it and successful.

Second, spending serious time working out and watching what I eat has been one of the best things I could have ever done for myself. Look, obviously I'm not saying I didn't do these things because I was in a relationship. That's nonsensical.

But would I have felt the same urge, desire and motivation to push myself as hard as I continue to push myself if I were NOT single? I'm not sure. I do know that being single gave me a LOT more time to spend lifting weights, walking Allie and running.

And let's be honest, you can say "hey sweetheart, how do you feel about chicken breast, steamed veggies and tuna for dinner?" only so often. When you're with someone, even when you cook together, it's SOOO easy to fall into unhealthy eating habits. I have had my share of that. Plus, there's going out to dinner and dates and etc. You know how it goes.

I needed to be extreme with my food choices for a while to instill good habits and discipline. I'm in a much better place with that now. I make much smarter decisions with food now than I ever have. I eat less food now than I ever have. God I'm so happy with this haha. I'm just so much healthier than I've ever been, it's ridiculous.

Next, going out with my friends as much as I have been. Again, I'm NOT saying I couldn't have gone out with my friends when I wasn't single. That's illogical. Of course I could have. But you know. Let's be reasonable. There are only so many times when you can say, "hey sweetheart, I'm going downtown to drink with my friends three times this week, cool?" I'm just saying. That would probably wear thin on ANY significant other after a while, and probably understandably so. But at the same time, I needed it. Big time.

As I (jokingly, of course) said to Nick in Raleigh, life can be a lot of fun when you don't have to worry about disappointing and/or embarrassing a girl haha. That's clearly NOT serious, but you know what I'm saying. It's probably not as easy to go home and have the following exchange, "So what did you do tonight?" "Oh you know. Danced like an ass for four hours."

Finally, did you read what I wrote up there? I've been engaged twice, and I haven't been single since I was approximately 15 years old. I think some time to myself to figure out my own shit was a little overdue, don't you?

As my friend Ashlee said to me, it's hard to find out who you are when you find yourself as half of a whole for so long. Well said! And true!

Before this summer, the longest I'd been single since I was 15 years old was less than six weeks. And even then, it wasn't really six weeks of being single because we never stopped speaking, hanging out or living together. So you know. There's that.

I have never taken the opportunity to look at myself, to improve on the things I felt needed improvement or to figure out what I truly want. I am 29 years old, friends. I'm a grown-ass man, dawg. It's been well past time for a while now for a little self-analysis and reflection.

I'm not saying I have it all figured out. It's only been, what, four months? But I have a much better perspective on myself. I'm in SUCH a better place mentally and physically right now. It's difficult even to comprehend where I was back in April.

The improvements I've made since then -- I mean, wow. There really aren't words for it. My energy level is through the ROOF. So much so, in fact, that J. Mike referred to dancing all night as "pulling a BG." I'm nearly at my goal weight of 180 pounds (from an all-time high of almost 230 pounds), which will only be a pit-stop on my way to 170 or 175 or even 165. Who knows.

I am comfortably running at least four miles three times a week. And I'm running five miles on the weekends. I made ridiculous improvements on my 5k time a few weeks ago. I'm now looking toward making similarly significant progress on my half-marathon time of 2:19:51.

I've been setting personal bests in one-mile, two-mile, three-mile and four-mile times almost daily for weeks now. I've almost got my one-mile time under eight minutes. My two-mile time is hovering right around 16 or 17 minutes. I recorded my best-ever four-mile time last week before I went to Raleigh.

I said GODDAMN it feels good to be a gangsta.

So. All of that is to say this: the past four months or so. Being single, being alone by my own designs and of my own volition for once and NOT trying to hop into another relationship is the best thing that's ever happened to me.

Like I said, I don't have it all figured out. But I have a much greater understanding of who I am and what I want -- things I'd never really bothered to consider before. All that running allows for a lot of reflection and thought.

Now, all of THAT is to say this: I think it's finally time. I feel like I'm ready to see other people and finally put all of my rediscovered awesomeness to good use, no? Although my new perspective on things is also most definitely telling me we'll take things slow this time as compared to, say, every other time in my life. Lulz.

It's been four months, and I've spent a hell of a lot of time working on myself. Feels like a good time to put myself back out there.

Let's go, friends. LET. US. GO.

-BG

5K Race Report and the Running Bug

Dude. Hell yes.

I killed my 5K this weekend. Like, blowed it up real good.

A little back story.

Last summer, I thought I wanted to run another half-marathon. Well, I did want to run another one, I just wasn't anywhere close to the shape I needed to be in. At all. I hadn't been running as much as I should have been, and I hadn't been keeping up with my diet, well, at all.

But I'm stubborn. So I took my fat ass (approximately 30 lbs overweight then) and tried to force it.

After two and a half weeks of running, I, predictably, hurt myself. I pulled my hamstring, and it was not good. It was still hurting me back in the spring when I first started playing softball. There was no way I could continue training without hurting myself worse.

The then-girlfriend and I found a 5K right in my neighborhood that was going to take place in early September, and I decided I needed to run it. I was so disappointed about hurting myself and quitting training that I needed something.

So we ran it. I ran the whole race, but not very well. My hamstring hurt throughout, but it's time to be honest with myself. The hamstring was not the reason for my problems. It was because I was in terrible shape. I was, quite frankly, fat -- at least 30-35 lbs overweight by then -- and there's no way I could have run a good race.

I finished in 32:06 (a 10:20 per mile pace). I was OK with it. I guess. I blamed the hamstring for the slow time. But we all know what the reason was now.

You may have heard, but I've lost, like, 40 pounds since April. I weighed in at 188 today (Boom.). What's up 180s? Haven't seen you in a while -- like five or six years, actually. Don't worry, I'm only passing through on my way to the 170s though.

So given my new-found fitness, I'd been looking forward to this year's Kentlands 5K for several weeks. I started looking up the schedule and registration in July, and I was just generally pumped.

Saturday finally arrived. I put on my Underarmour compression shirt, my newly purchased Nike running shorts and I could feel the adrenaline start pumping already. (Side note: it is stunning to me that I feel comfortable enough and, honestly, look almost good enough to pull off running in only an Underarmour shirt. I did NOT see that coming a few months ago. I'll take it!)

I wanted to push myself, so I got in line with the 8-9 min/mile pace group (I ran with the 9-10 min/mile pace group last year, and still couldn't keep up). I'd been running four miles a few times a week for a while now, and I could finish my first mile in just more than 8 minutes, but my pace slowed after that. I knew the adrenaline and race atmosphere was going to help though. I wanted to shave at least a minute off of each mile, so I figured finishing in around 29 minutes would be a good enough improvement for me to feel satisfied.

I started two minutes after the gun time (due to other pace groups starting before mine), and I was off. Maaan let me tell you. Races are something else. VERY easy to get addicted to it. When I hit play on my iPod and "The Distance" by Cake started. Whew. I got the chills. I was fucking pumped. I must have looked like a complete idiot air-drumming while I ran. Suck it.

The Kentlands neighborhood is pretty hilly. I walk Allie through it twice a day, so I'm very familiar with the roads. If I had to guess, I'd say at least a third of the race is uphill, including a lot of mile 3.

When I got to mile 1, the clock said 10:11, so some quick math told me I was doing pretty well on pace. I got some water, almost entirely missed my mouth because I didn't stop running and continued on.

The last third of mile 2, leading up to the clock was uphill. It was tough. I don't remember exactly what the clock said, but I knew I was still on a pretty solid pace. I stopped for five seconds to drink some water. I counted to five and took off again. There was a brief downhill period, but I knew we were coming up to the main street where I walk Allie. It was straight uphill for approximately half a mile.

Andrew W.K.'s "Party Hard" came on right as I hit the bottom of the hill, and I just said, you know what? Fuck it. Let's go. I pushed it. I pushed it like I haven't pushed myself in a long time on a run.

When I got to the top of the hill I thought I was going to throw up. And, strangely, it felt pretty good. Something about getting yourself to a point where your body is like, "please no more," and you say, "fuck you, let's go." I felt it during my half-marathon, and I felt it again for the first time since the half-marathon on Saturday. I want more, man.

The steep uphill climb led into a nice downhill break before the final stretch. I caught my breath as much as I could, and I prepared myself. When I hit the bottom of the hill, I was going to go all out through the finish line. I needed to make 29 minutes.

As I entered the homestretch, "Monkey Wrench" by the Foo Fighters came on, and I punched it up another gear -- well, whatever I had left anyway. I wasn't going to miss my goal because I didn't try hard enough or run hard enough.

I started seeing stars, and I was having trouble breathing by the time I sprinted across the finish line. But I saw 29 right there on the clock. Made my goal. Felt good, man.

Then the fog started to clear from my head, the stars started to dissipate and it hit me. Wait a second, I didn't start until two minutes after the clock started. My official time might be much better than that.

So I waited, and they posted the results. 26:57 (!!!). I broke 27 minutes. Man. LET. US. GO. I love everybody.

I found the official results online over the weekend. I somehow gained a second, but I'll take 26:58. My pace was 8:41. I love it. I'm hooked. I couldn't run ONE solitary mile in 8:41 a few months ago, never mind average 8:41 over more than three miles. I improved on my total time by more than FIVE minutes. I improved on my pace by almost 1:40 per mile. So while the total time may not be impressive to, you know, competitive runners, I think we can all agree that's some ridiculous improvement.

I was talking to my friend Lindsey about my 5K and the half-marathon she was about to run, and I mentioned something about another half-marathon for myself, and she said, "uh oh, you've got the bug." And it's totally true. The more you run, the more you want to run. Running in a real race makes you want to run in more races.

I found a half-marathon in Bermuda in the middle of January. I absolutely need to do it. I feel called to it and compelled to do it. Training would start in about six or seven weeks. It obviously won't be cheap, but if I can find a way to do it, I need it. If it's not that one, it'll just be another one. Maybe in the spring. I need to run another half-marathon now. I feel a competitive fire back in me that I haven't felt in way too long. I am fired up man.

I am in decent shape now. I can handle the training in a way I never could have before. I felt absolutely NO soreness after the 5K. I ran another four miles yesterday, and I'll run four more tomorrow, rain or shine. I can't wait to start training for another half-marathon again.

But mostly, I really can't wait to just get out and run some more.

"Reluctantly crouched at the starting line,
engines pumping and thumping in time."

Man, let's GO.

-BG