Happy Holidays!

How can you not love Christmas?

It's just so much fun. Everything about it makes me so happy. The way the room looks with the Christmas tree light on. The way the air feels and smells. It's just different at Christmas time, you know?

Having the whole family back together is so great. And it happens less and less now. Obviously, I see my brother a fair amount because we both live in the DC area. And because we're both in the same area, my parents make it up our way a good bit since it's a reasonable drive. My sister, however, lives in south Florida for grad school. I am honestly having a hard time remembering the last time I saw her. It really might have been last Christmas. Well, she and her dog will be here tomorrow at the latest.

Every family has their own traditions and Christmas memories, and, obviously, I'm no different. I'm pretty sure I remember talking about this one, specifically, at some point over the past couple of weeks with someone. I think it's kind of funny.

I'm not sure when it started, but I remember it in the early- and mid-90s, after we moved to North Carolina. For reasons I'm not sure I'll ever understand, Kathy Lee Gifford recorded an album of Christmas music. Because of course she did. Well, my mom had the CD and loved it.

Whenever she made her Christmas cookies (for the WIN, by the way), she'd listen to the Kathy Lee Gifford CD. So many of my teenage Christmas memories take place with Kathy Lee Gifford singing "Gloooooooooooooooooria in excelsis Deo" in the background. Like you do.

But man those cookies are my JAM. I've already eaten way too many of the homemade chocolate chip cookies since I got home.

So! Since my dad's Jewish, we also celebrated Hanukkah. By celebrate, I clearly mean we just light our menorah. And since the exact dates of Hanukkah vary year to year, there were definitely years (like this year, P.S.) where we turn on our Christmas lights and then immediately light the menorah.

In fact, from my position on one of the more comfortable recliners on which I've ever sat, I can see a menorah ornament on our Christmas tree, which is also topped with a Star of David. Again, like you do.

Funny story. A few years ago, I wanted to buy my own menorah for my apartment. I was living in Raleigh at the time, and I know the south is not always known for its religious diversity. But I still felt reasonably comfortable that I would find a menorah someplace. I don't normally go to Wal-Mart. I generally find it to be a wasteland of humanity. This time, I figured its mass appeal would mean it would surely have a menorah and/or other Hanukkah things.

I walked out to the big holiday section they had outside. I didn't immediately find anything, so I asked the clerk.

"Excuse me, do you have any menorahs anywhere?"
"What's a menorah?"
...
"You know. It's what holds the candles you light during Hanukkah."
"Hanukkah?"
Well then. "Yes. Hanukkah. It's like Jewish Christmas."
"Ohhh. No we don't have any of that. You can check the candle section though."

Clearly, he missed the point. I humored him and went to the candle section. Predictably, I had no luck.

There was a Big Lots in the same parking lot as the Wal-Mart, so I walked over to that store to try my luck again. There was no sign of any Hanukkah things in the holiday sections, so I asked again.

"Hi. Yeah I'm looking for a menorah."
"You're looking for what?"
"A menorah. The thing that holds the candles for Hanukkah. Nine candles."
"Oh a candle holder. Those are over here. See? This one holds nine candles."
"Noooo that's not exactly what I meant. I don't need just ANY candle holder that holds nine candles. A menorah is a very specific item."

I went to Harris Teeter because I know they have a a reasonable selection of kosher foods and other Jewish items. When the clerk pointed me to the candle section, I just walked out. I did eventually find one at Bed Bath and Beyond, so it was, eventually, a successful effort. So yeah. That happened.

Anyway. Back to Christmas! My favorite Christmas tradition, by far, is our yearly Christmas Eve viewing of "The Muppet Christmas Carol."

We moved to North Carolina in October of 1993. So the Christmas of 1993 was going to be our first without all of our extended family involved. I was 11 years old, and we'd just gotten the movie. Christmas Eve rolled around, and I figured, hey why not. Who doesn't love the Muppets, right? Let's see what the movie is about.

Well. It was awesome. It's still awesome, of course. And this will be the 19th year we've watched this movie on Christmas Eve. I can't wait.

Every December for the past few years, once it gets to be two weeks or so before Christmas, I'll post the first line of the lyrics from the opening song on Facebook. My brother and sister will inevitably reply with the next lines.

And now, through the miracle of social media, some of my friends have discovered our mutual love for the movie, and they will join in as well. So good.

So yeah, I really can't wait to watch this movie. And I know. I'm 29 years old, but I don't care. I've come home and spent Christmas with my family every year so far, and I really don't anticipate that changing anytime soon. I love being home for Christmas.

To everyone who stops by this page to read when I write, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope all of you get to be where you want to be this Christmas. And a very, very happy holidays to you and your loved ones.

"It's in the singing of a street corner choir,
it's going home and getting warm by the fire.
It's true wherever you find love,
it feels like Chriiiistmaaas!"

Back next week with my week-long year-in-review. I really can't wait to write those posts. Anyway. Later, kids!

-BG

And Then What Happened: Boston Part 2

If you missed part 1 of the Boston story, here's where to find it. Really, this photo does more to explain the weekend than anything I could say. It was taken on Sunday afternoon, on our way back from watching football downtown with Katie, Lindsey and my cousin Justine. It took MAYBE 30 seconds for us both to fall asleep.

Anyway. I'm sure I've talked about this before, but I've never in my life had a hangover. I've never gotten sick from drinking too much. I've definitely had enough to warrant those situations, but for whatever reason, it hasn't ever happened. My working theory is that I'm a superhero of some kind with the lamest super powers ever. But I digress.

Now I'm not sure exactly what a hangover feels like. I've woken up and not felt great -- a little bit of a sour stomach sometimes, maybe a slight headache. But it's never been anything I couldn't just wake up and power through.

Well, I woke up on Saturday morning with the biggest headache I'd ever had after drinking. I blame the scorpion bowls. I had some water and took a shower, and I was good after I had some food. I don't know if that counts as a hangover or not, but it's definitely the closest I've ever come. I still say no.

Langdon and I were up around 7:45 or 8 a.m. to head to the airport to pick up J. Mike. Let me take a second to plug J. Mike's blog, where he posted his own story about Boston. Very cool. When J. Mike got in the car, we started recounting some of our old Technician road trip stories. J. Mike and I talked about our infamous trip to cover the Miami game in 2007 where we realized we did not have our press passes two and a half hours in the trip and turned around. "BG, turn around, man. I don't have the press passes." Oy haha.

Then Langdon and J. Mike told a story about a road trip to Winston-Salem to cover a Wake Forest game. The game was long over, and the interviews were done. Langdon and J. Mike exited the field house with the new writer they'd taken along with them, only to be semi-accosted by a homeless man who screamed, for no apparent reason, "And then what happened!" As Langdon told the story, he broke into a dead run as soon as the man yelled. J. Mike followed along quickly enough, leaving the young writer alone. Like you do. Naturally, they tried to spin it into a life lesson for the poor kid in the car.

So there you go. I did what I do, and I ran the saying into the ground all weekend. And then what happened.

We'd made plans to meet Carnell, Katie and Lindsey at this bar near BC's football stadium. There's not a whole lot of room to tailgate for games there, so people often go to bars. This particular bar -- City Bar, I believe it was called -- is where the N.C. State Boston alumni chapter meets before games. Carnell was nowhere to be found until the second quarter of the football game. The girls were very slow to arrive at the bar as a result of Friday night.

Langdon, J. Mike and I had a few drinks and some food and met up with a bunch more of the DC folks who made the trip. We made our way to the stadium, and the game was terrible from the start haha. We were down 7-0 before we even found our seats. What can you do. We laid an egg in the game and lost 14-10. Obviously, we now know how the regular season ends, so it's all good.

That game was the first time I'd really heard the song "Shipping Up to Boston." I documented my thoughts on that last week. I was getting fired up, and they weren't even playing it for me.

So there's not a whole lot to say about the game. After the game, however, Langdon, J. Mike and I hopped on the T to get back downtown to meet Langdon's roommate and his girlfriend for some drinks. We sat down, and I could already tell I was only minutes from sleep. But Langdon saw this guy in a Boston Transit uniform, drinking something out of a Gatorade bottle. Langdon, being Langdon, asked him what kind of Gatorade it was. "My own special blend," he said. (I'm sure it is, I add parenthetically.)

The man, whose name I cannot recall nor do I know if we ever knew, came and sat down near us to share his life story. All I remember is he "fackin' hates loyahz," and he and his ex-wife have a standing appointment in court seemingly daily.

I passed out not long after, but Langdon kept up a conversation the entire ride downtown. And then what happened. Indeed.

The combination of Friday night and a long day on Saturday left all of us pretty drained. We headed back to Langdon's apartment after a few drinks at an Irish pub downtown. When we got back, his roommate and roommate's girlfriend cooked homemade enchiladas for us all. LEGIT. So very good. The roommate made us some kick-ass drinks, too, but of course I don't remember what they were. If Langdon reads this, maybe he can chime in on that. I'd love to know what that drink was. Some kind of ginger beer mixture. For the win.

I tried incredibly unsuccessfully to make plans with Katie and Lindsey. They were, understandably, exhausted and not sure they were going to make it out. Well we were having none of that. So we hit the T and headed downtown. We ended up a bar called Hurricane O'Reillys. Carnell found us while we waited outside, and we headed in. It was pretty much redonk. J. Mike was so excited to be out with us, he joyfully bought all our drinks that night (THANKS BUDDY). Naturally, we drank, I think, four High Life tallboys each. Like you do. Keepin' it classy.

Well, you know how I roll. I got a couple of drinks in me, and it was time to dance. Listen. My arms get involved when I dance. Out to my sides. Above my head. I'm just grooving, man. I can't help myself. The problem was this: I've never seen a more crowded dance floor in my life. My arms were stuck to my sides because I simply couldn't move them.

Carnell peaced out to meet up with some other people he was in town with, so we worked our way over to a side bar and kind of made our own dance floor for a bit. J. Mike got really excited and bought us shots of straight Jager. I don't often take shots of straight liquor. The occasional shot of Jameson this summer, I suppose, but it's not common.

Here's how you know I had a good time. I was checking my Twitter feed after the weekend, and I found the following tweet, timestamped at 1:34 a.m. while we were out Saturday night: "Aww sookie sookie now."

Clearly, I was feeling it.

Langdon and I were finally able to get up with Katie and Lindsey, who DID make it out Saturday night. Katie sent us a picture of the wallpaper where they were and told us to find them and have fun with the scavenger hunt. Of course. As we were getting ready to leave, this guy walked by Langdon, J. Mike and I and LITERALLY showed his teeth to Langdon. What in the world. It was one of the strangest things I've ever seen.

I'm sure Katie and Lindsey have figured this out by now, but there's no chance we could have found them if Katie hadn't checked in at the restaurant/bar on Facebook. I saw the check-in, googled the name and we were on our way.

I left my sister a drunk voicemail. Langdon and J. Mike left Nick and drunk voicemail that went straight to his voicemail hall of fame. Like you do.

So we were walking down to street toward the restaurant where Katie and Lindsey were with some other friends of theirs when these two girls jumped out of an alley, grabbed me by the arms, pulled me into the alley and threw me against the wall.

In my head, I'm thinking, "YEEAAH BUDDY. Best night of my life! Pre-emptively!" I've seen this movie; I know how it ends. One girl was so drunk, all she could do was lean against me. The other girl said to me, in a reasonably thick Boston accent (which is surprisingly endearing on young, cute girls and not middle-aged drunk men), "Please help us. This guy has been following us for, like, five blocks now, and he's really scaring us. You look like you're really cool, so can you pretend to be our friend so maybe he'll leave us alone?"

I'm thinking, well you're the ones that have me pinned against a wall in an alley. Do I need some help? But I said, sure why not. Apparently I look much more intimidating than I feel because that was the second time in a couple of months I was asked to scare someone off.

What the hell do you do in that situation? I looked over at the guy as menacingly as I can (read: not very), and the girls started talking really loudly, "Oh my god, Chris, thank GOD we found you! We've been looking for you for so long!" I continued looking at the guy menacingly, and he seemed to get the point and wandered off.

The girls kissed me and ran off down the street, thanking me profusely. So. That happened haha.

Langdon and J. Mike watched the whole situation unfold and were totally engrossed in what I told them about it. It was so bizarre. I'll tell you what, though. Shit like that DOES NOT happen to fat dudes. It just don't! So once again, hooray losing more than 40 pounds! haha

We finally found the restaurant after some googling and wandering. Katie and Lindsey were extremely surprised we found them. Langdon and I just looked at each other, and we were like, c'mon. Of course we did. Lulz. J. Mike was barely coherent at this point, which was awesome because he began to tweet complete and total gibberish the entire time we were there.

Unfortunately for the world, he went back and deleted it the next morning. I wish I had some examples.

Around 2 or 2:30 a.m., we decided it was time to head back. Now, remember the cab situation I faced the night before? Yeah. Again. Not only was it hard to get the cab drivers even to stop, but when they DID stop and heard where we were going, they often drove off immediately.

So the three of us fanned out to try to get a cab. Langdon and I were on opposite sides of this main street, trying to flag them down. J. Mike, however. Oh lord.

J. Mike took to standing ON the center line in the street, punching cabs as they drove by. It didn't seem like a sustainable situation, but wow do I wish I'd taken a picture of it.

Eventually, we came up with a new strategy. Langdon flagged down the cabs and distracted the driver while I jumped in the backseat and refused to move. Once I got in the backseat, they hopped in too, and we were just like, dude. We've got cash. We're not moving. Drive us home, you know? Shit.

I fell asleep in the cab immediately. Like you do. Like I do, anyway. We got back, paid the cab and headed upstairs. I crashed on the couch so fast I didn't even have time to change clothes.

Sunday morning was a bit rough for J. Mike haha. We finally got him out of bed around noon so we could head downtown to watch football with Lindsey and Katie. And my cousin Justine! Justine lives in Boston, and we tried unsuccessfully to coordinate hanging out Friday and Saturday, but Sunday there was no excuse.

I hadn't seen her since the wedding back in September 2009 that I've talked about so much. Her brother is the one who got married. But she came and hung out with us, and she exhibited what appears to be a BG-family personality trademark: infectious enthusiasm and energy. Good times.

She definitely helped rally us because we were dragging from two solid days of nonsense and staying out until 4 a.m.

Alas, my flight was that night, so we had to head back. The photo up top is from this point in the story. We fell asleep on the T in no time. J. Mike was too nervous to fall asleep, but you could tell Langdon and I are seasoned subway travelers. We fell asleep and would wake up at each of the stations as we approached the station we needed -- which is exactly how I roll on the DC metro.

Made it to the airport and headed back to DC. As we were exiting the plane at National, Katie gave us the most appropriate quote for the entire week: "It's kind of weird being sober."

Indeed it was.

Final verdict: Boston was infinitely more awesome than I expected to be, and I would love to go back very, very soon so I can do actual nerdy touristy things.

Boston, well done!

As always, thank you so, so much for reading and for telling me you enjoy the stories. I get such a huge kick out of knowing people actually like reading my BS.

It should be another insane weekend, again, starting tonight with a party with some work friends, continuing on Saturday night with a holiday-themed bar crawl downtown and then finishing up on Sunday with a date! Doin' the bull dance. Feelin' the flow. Let's GO. Hopefully there will be some blog-appropriate stories! Have a great weekend, kids.

Later!

-BG

Hey. Thanks.

Yeah. I know I'm a couple weeks late on this, but Thanksgiving happened while I was on my blog vacation. Naturally, I have some thoughts.

It's no secret 2011 hasn't been my best year -- although it did rally something serious starting at the end of October. Well, when you go through rough times, you learn a lot about yourself and your friends and the people who care about you.

I've definitely got that. I learned more this year than I ever have before -- about humility, about perseverance, about trusting my instincts, about not being afraid of accepting help, about the importance of a positive attitude, and so on and so on.

Finally, I feel like I've made it through the storm. I feel so good, and there are innumerable things for which I'm incredibly thankful. Since I didn't write anything on Thanksgiving, I figured why not now?

Fair warning, though. It's about to get real up in this piece. So in the spirit of Thanksgiving (two weeks ago), I couldn't have made it through this year without the following things (some very obvious, some maybe not so much), albeit it an incomplete list:

My Family -- My dad slipped me a $20 bill every time he saw me. My mom sent me home with food every time I saw her. My grandfather was so upset when he heard about my job back in January, he sent me a card with a check for $50 in it. Seriously. That happened. Is it getting dusty in here? I mean. There aren't enough words.

My Friends -- You guys. For reals. You're all ridiculous, and I don't know what I would have done without our weekly (or more often) debaucheries this summer and fall. You were there with a kind and encouraging word when I needed it and with a disparaging word when it was necessary haha. And you continue to be awesome.

Fridays at the Bottom Line -- The best happy hour in DC. It's tough to beat the $1 beer specials. We can go in there and all get drinks for like $25 total, which would cover like three drinks anywhere else in the District. Many a ridiculous night has originated at the Bottom Line, and I hope for more to come VERY shortly. Like this week, I hope.

Running -- Reluctantly crouched at the starting line. Engines pumping and thumping in time. The green light flashes. The flags go up. Churning and burning, they yearn for the cup. You're fired up right now, aren't you? The first few lines to "The Distance," by Cake. It's the first song on my running playlist every time I run. Since April, when I started watching what I eat and exercising intensely, there have been times where I was simply overwhelmed. And nothing cleared my head, got the blood pumping or burned the energy better than a solid four-mile run. Whenever I go a few days or weeks without running, that first run back is a rush of excitement, and I always remember how much I love it now. It's so funny because I hated running until I forced myself into a half-marathon two years ago. Since then, I've run two 5Ks, and I registered for a second half-marathon here in DC in March. CAN'T WAIT.

Losing Weight/Being Healthier -- You may have heard, but I've lost more than 40 pounds since April. You know what never gets old? I wore pants yesterday I couldn't even pull up to my waist just a few months ago. Never mind buttoning them, I couldn't even get them up to my waist. And I wore them comfortably yesterday. Incredible. I was wearing XL shirts just eight months ago. Now, I wear mostly mediums. I have a size medium coat. What in the world. This time last year? I was almost 230 pounds. I weighed in Monday night after my run at 186, which is even more of an accomplishment given how I spent the months of October and November up and down the East coast. More on that next week.

Dancing -- Dude. I never knew how much I loved it until this past summer. But, man, what an unbelievably freeing and exhilarating time. Play a little Jackson 5 ("I Want You Back," especially) or, really, any 60s music, I'm totally in. Oh who are we kidding...I'm good with anything. Lulz.

My Job -- First and foremost, I straight-up love my co-workers. You guys are brilliant and hilarious, and I could not be more excited about this opportunity. It challenges me in new and exciting ways every day, and I'm learning something new seemingly by the minute. What more can you ask for?

My Best Friends -- Jon, you are like a brother to me. We've been friends for, what, 17, almost 18 years now? Incredible. You have a way of cutting right to the point in exactly the way I need to hear it exactly WHEN I need to hear it. I often, unwisely, do not heed your advice (just as we both know I probably won't this time...LULZ), but, rest assured, I know I probably should haha. And it is always most appreciated. Sometimes I just need to go down magnificently in flames, consequences be damned, you know? C'est la vie. And Mike. There may be no stranger "bromance." Despite the fact that we have only hung out in person maybe four times total, I don't think it's an exaggeration to say I have talked to you more than anyone else this year. Disturbingly parallel. Whatever happens with one of us, I can know without question the other has either already done it or will be doing it shortly. Lulz, indeed.

Last and, most certainly, not least, the past five weeks -- I mean. What can I say? Simply amazing. Thanks, "Lola." Always.

-BG

I Love Everybody

Yes, I still do love everybody. What a week. My God, what a week.

It started on Monday with my job offer. Then, for the next three days, I marinated in the glow of a pure happiness and joy I hadn't known in quite some time.

It's funny. I built up the moment of receiving the job offer for so long, I began to wonder if it could ever possibly live up to what I envisioned when it actually came. I came so close to an offer three other times before this one. I had my celebration queued up and ready to go. I was ready to explode. And then, all three times I was denied.

The build-up and anticipation for this was seriously unbelievable.

And then the offer finally came. And it was everything I thought it would be and more. Just ask Allie, who witnessed me running through the house like a maniac, screaming like a banshee and attempting to make snow angels on the carpet after reenacting the scene from Jerry Maguire I linked to on Wednesday.

That celebration will really continue Friday night, when I go meet some friends downtown. It's someone's birthday, but I don't know her at all haha. Katie invited me and a few others we know just because we're fun, and we're always down for pretty much anything.

Anyway, we're starting at a place called Stoney's. It's on P Street near Whole Foods. I've been over to that area before, but I've never been to Stoney's. I'm sure it'll be fine. I already told Katie this, though. If the night doesn't end at Rumors for some dancing, I'm going to be VERY disappointed. This is as happy and energetic as I've ever felt. And that, my friends, is saying something.

Dammit I can't wait!

So! The first day at work is in the books. I'm pretty sure they'll invite me back for a second and third, so that's a great success.

The verdict after day one? Wow. 100 percent worth the wait. All the talk about "the right situation will come along" sounds like a cop-out to make you feel better when you miss out on something else. But after learning about this place and what I'll be doing, it sounds pretty accurate so far. The people are so friendly, and they seem so good at what they do. The work will be interesting and challenging, and there will be a ton of opportunities to do a lot of fun things. I'm so excited.

And the commute, driving in rush hour on the beltway? It took 30 minutes less, cumulatively, than it took me to ride the metro to work downtown. Incredible. I'm sure there will be days when it's beyond awful, and it takes much longer. But day one was a pleasant surprise.

For the first time in a long time, I am 100 percent at peace, happy and content. Physically, emotionally, mentally, financially -- I'm finally good in all phases of the game. I'm eating better than I ever have. I'm in better shape than I've ever been. I don't need to list all these things again. I feel like a broken record sometimes haha. I'm just so fired up and happy I don't know how to process it sometimes. Not a bad problem to have, if I do say so myself.

The weekend will be predictably awesome, too. Flag football games on both Saturday and Sunday mornings. N.C. State vs. Virginia on Saturday, McFadden's for the Panthers game on Sunday. Dammit I love everyone and everything right now.

Life is as good as it's ever been, and the outlook is only for it to get better. I am so, so lucky.

LET'S GO!

-BG

EMPLOYED.

Our long national nightmare is over!

I've been waiting to write this post for a long time. I've been waiting for this celebration for a long time. I mean, a loooong time.

This morning, I received a job offer from a PR firm in the area, and I will be starting my new job on Thursday! LET'S GO!

To put this situation in perspective, the lease at my apartment runs out at the end of October. For those of you for whom math is not your specialty, that means I was going to have to vacate my apartment in 14 days.

Needless to say, I canceled that move-out request. I may need to move at some point, but I don't even want to think about that right now. I'll see how this goes for a little while, and if it doesn't work, I'll reassess later.

I may or may not have (but definitely DID) reenact Andy's rain scene from Shawshank in the shower this morning. I am overwhelmed with so many feelings right now. Relief, joy, excitement, anxiousness. I don't even know how to process everything I'm feeling. So great.

I love everybody right now!

It's been a hell of a time the past nine months. The late winter and early spring was a really, really rough time for me because of the unemployment thing. It led to me becoming a little too depressed for my own good. I gained way too much weight. I stopped caring about a lot of things. I directly blame that for ruining some things I would have preferred not being ruined. Don't get me wrong; I know it's on me. I let a bad situation get to me, and it threw a wrench into quite a few things, which is really a shame given how awesome I've been since.

But!!

I am so thoroughly thrilled to say I don't have an OUNCE of negativity in me anymore. I am 100 percent optimism and energy. As I've happily documented on this blog, since mid-April, I've been a completely different person. Just take a stroll through the archives to see the transformation.

Since then, my life has been so completely amazing. I've met some incredibly awesome people, who I'm ridiculously pumped to call my friends. I've started playing softball and flag football. I'm going out with my friends like twice a week. I've been to Raleigh and Charlotte a few times and to Savannah. And I'm going to Boston next month. And, oh yeah, I've lost more than 40 pounds and counting.

So much good has been going on, and I've been so completely happy. Only one thing has prevented me from calling this the best time of my life: I didn't have a full-time job.

Literally everything else about my life was better than it had ever been before -- except the job situation.

Now, that is no longer the case. I am so excited about this job. It's a perfect opportunity for me to get in there and prove myself again. I cannot emphasize enough how ready I am to run through walls to get things done. I am so fired up.

It has been such a roller coaster this year. Including phone interviews, I've had more than 20 or 25 interviews. I've been a finalist four times. I've gotten so close so many times. It's heart-wrenching to get that close only to be denied and sent back to the beginning of the process.

But that is all in the past now. And God DAMN that feels good.

I cannot wait to go out downtown this weekend to celebrate. I've been holding this one in for months now. I am absolutely going to humpty dance all over downtown DC, so get ready.

Life is so, so, so good. And it's only going to get better. The one thing holding me back from being in the best shape of my life physically, mentally and emotionally is no longer an issue. My God I am going to tear shit UP now. Watch out for BG, my friends. Nothing can hold me back now.

Seriously, thank you to EVERYONE who has helped me through this. My family, friends and friends' families -- I couldn't have made it through one of the most trying times of my life without you. You were there to distract me, to offer an encouraging word (or a disparaging word, depending on the circumstance...lulz) and to listen to me vent more often than I can even count. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. And if you are in the area this weekend, you BEST come out to celebrate this with me. It will be soooo incredibly worth it.

Let's go, friends. LET US GO.

-BG

Another Summer's Gone

Fall is undoubtedly here. The air is brisk. Leaves are beginning to cover the ground everywhere I walk now.

Another summer's come and gone, and what a tumultuous summer it was for me. I won't go into those details again. If you've been reading here at all, you know what's happened over the past few months.

Life-changing, to say the least. Some bad, some beyond amazing.

Growing up, I always loved the summer. What kid doesn't? School ended. Beach trips. Pool parties. Playing outside all day, every day. Non-stop sports. Water gun fights. Building tree houses. And my birthday is in the summer, too.

I mean, come on. That's awesome.

As I get older, I find myself gravitating toward fall more and more for a variety of reasons. The heat breaks, and the windows stay open. Running outside doesn't feel like I'm being waterboarded. College football is back. I can smell the first hint of fires in fireplaces around the neighborhood.

And I always connect the fall with falling in love. The last three girls I've seriously dated all began as fall romances.

I know the entire natural world feels that way about the spring, but when have I ever done things by the book? Don't get me wrong, I love the spring, too. But for the past seven or eight years, the fall has always felt different and special to me.

When the weather first gets cool in the fall, it smells different. And when I smell the first hints of fall air, I remember long walks around campus at night, staring at the stars for hours on end. Lying in the grass, contemplating the mysteries of the universe until almost dawn.

When the colors of fall invade the foliage, I think of long drives with the windows down, just to be in the same place alone together, feeling the cool air rush all around us with nothing but trees along the side of the road.

Lying on the cold cement of the bleachers from the old stadium on campus with our breath forming in puffs, looking out across the parking lot and wondering what it was like 50 years earlier when they still played football there. Breaks my heart to know the bleachers aren't there any more. Progress ain't always so great.

Or that first night we met for drinks just to say hello. A cool drizzle was falling, and I was so nervous my heart was in my stomach. I wore the nicest shirt I owned to work that day. Despite the increasing chill in the air, I could feel the heat in my cheeks as my head spun when I saw you walk up. I didn't know whether to hug you or shake your hand. I don't even remember what I did. I can't imagine how awkward whatever I did must have been. And then meeting over drinks turned into almost five hours of awesome conversation, dinner and the promise of so much more.

I guess it's pretty obvious I'm a romantic at heart, through and through. Is it any wonder I love the fall so much when these are the things that come to mind?

The relationships all ended for one reason or another. Life gets in the way, as it is wont to do. There are certainly less-than-happy memories as well, but these are the things that make me happy -- these are the things I remember.

These memories always bring a smile to my face, no matter how things may have ended up later on. I'm sure it's just been a coincidence that has led to them all occurring in the fall. But because of that, the fall brings a rush of joy with it when it sweeps in with rustling leaves.

This isn't sad story at all, so please keep that in mind. Fall is fast becoming my favorite season, though, and when it rolls through with it's assault on the senses, a lot of happy memories come with it -- moments forever frozen in time for which I have nothing but pleasant feelings.

Fall, it's good to see you again, old friend, and already overflowing with so much promise and excitement in so many different ways. Can't wait to see what you have in store for me this year.

-BG

Break-ups, "(500) Days of Summer" and the Art of Moving On

As you probably know by now, the girl and I broke up a while ago. Relax, I'm not going to complain about anything; I'm not going to be all emo about it. The reasons and details have no business being on the blog, anyway. I only bring it up because the event itself is relevant to the rest of the post. It's all good. It really is.

I'm doing what you do. Going out and having fun. Dedicating myself to working out and looking and feeling better (I've lost 25 pounds HEY OH). I'm writing more, as shown in my active blogging for the past month and a half or so. I'm throwing myself into hobbies like the writing, my guitar and playing softball, etc.

So where am I going with this? Have you ever seen the movie (500) Days of Summer? As the tagline for the movie says, "This is not a love story. This is a story about love."

If you haven't seen it, you should. Immediately. It's a great, great movie about the 500 days of Tom's relationship with Summer. Tom is played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Summer is played by the super hot Zooey Deschanel. It is most definitely not a love story, though it warns you about that right up front -- not unlike Summer.

Anyway, Tom and Summer have this relationship, and then, of course, they break up. And the movie is about everything and all of it. The excitement of being interested in someone new. The unabashed joy when the interest appears to be reciprocated. The blinding, stomach-churning pain of heartbreak. The hope and restoration of emerging from the other side mostly better off. And everything in between. It's just really great.

So I was at home in Charlotte for the week or so surrounding my birthday. My parents have HBO, and during the week I was at my parents' house, this movie was on HBO repeat. You know how that works. It plays every few hours for like five days. Of course it did. Naturally, I watched it every time.

And now, what I'd really like to do is to write a running diary of the movie. I'm going to watch the movie and comment on it throughout with timestamps (where appropriate) so you can follow along if you'd like to see what I'm talking about. It'll likely be a lot of stream of consciousness, too. Mostly, it'll be an exercise in honestly trying to deal with, you know, life.

Every time I watch this movie, I realize more and more how I am Tom. But I guess a lot of people will see themselves in either Tom or Summer. That's probably why the movie was as successful as it was.

Regardless, I think this will be fun, and it's my blog. So here we go!

00:00 -- I'm on the couch with my laptop ready for action. The dog is nervously pacing around the room because it's incredibly cloudy and dark outside from the thunderstorm that rolled through earlier (and perhaps will roll through again).

00:01 -- Ha...so the narrator talks about how Tom believed he would never be happy until and unless he met "the one." I can sympathize with that because for the better part of college, I subscribed to the same theory. But as I get older, it's not as strong as it once was. I'm not entirely sure why I felt that way. I think it's because my parents got married when they were 20 and 22, so it was just reality to me. That's how you do things. You know?

Maybe that's why I thought it would be a good idea to get engaged at 22. It was not. Live and learn, my friends. Live and learn.

As soon as Tom sees Summer, he knows she's the one he's been looking for. Yeah I know how that goes. I'm pretty sure I've been there more than once.

00:04 -- And Tom is in the kitchen breaking plates against the counter. One of the great parts about this movie is the non-linear way the story is told. It jumps around throughout the 500 days. So that's why it'll talk about things from the break-up before the relationship, etc. Anyway, so Tom and Summer have obviously recently broken up. That feeling sucks, man. You feel helpless, and the only thing that makes sense is destruction.

00:07 -- "I don't want to get over her. I want to get her back." Not this relationship, but the last relationship that ended, I looked her right in the eye after she broke up with me and said, "I'm going to get you back." It took maybe two months, but I did. We got back together and dated for another terrible year and a half. It was unwise.

Sometimes it makes sense to get back together. Sometimes the reasons you break up are temporary and circumstantial. And sometimes it's because you are completely incompatible and forcing it for who the fuck knows why. That time was the latter. I should have left it be, but I was stubborn. Again, I'm not talking about this time. It was a few years ago.

It was complicated by several factors -- among them: we lived together and didn't have an immediate way to work around that. So that was fun haha. But really, it meant we didn't have a cooling-off period. We broke up, and then continued to see each other all the time. I never had the necessary period of reflection you often go through after a break-up. That's the point where you can finally realize, you know, maybe getting back together isn't such a great idea. Didn't happen. Anyway.

00:11 -- Haha I love Tom's reaction to Summer telling him she loves The Smiths after she hears them playing on his iPod. She just smiles and says she loves the band, and that Tom has great taste in music. The elevator doors open with Tom just smiling like a moron as Summer exits. He stands there a beat and says, "Holy shit," as the doors close on him. So great.

It's something you do in elementary school, right? You find out a girl likes something you like (hell even if you don't like it), and you make a point to immerse yourself in it at all times just for the odd time when she might walk past so you might be able to share that initial moment again.

Well, it doesn't stop in elementary school. I'm pretty sure I would do this now, and so would you. Don't lie.

00:13 -- I love how it takes Tom, like, three days to fall completely in love. You can just tell by the way he looks at her. And by the way he breaks out his paper to start sketching again after Summer comments on his architecture studies. Again, when did the writers spend time sitting in my brain?

"Oh boy. Just cuz some cute girl likes the same bizarro crap you do, that doesn't make her your soulmate, Tom."

The words of Tom's sister, Rachel. Wise words, indeed. But impossible to heed when you're like Tom (and me, for that matter). Because when you decide you're in love with someone, you look for the signs in everything that happens. You'll grasp onto the smallest little thing as long as you can spin it in your head as a "sign" that you're meant to be together.

00:20 -- Ah ha. A key point in the movie. Summer talks about how she has no interest in a relationship at all because "they're messy and people's feelings get hurt." She puts it right out there for Tom. He cannot help himself.

Haha Tom is so great at karaoke. I love karaoke. I love singing anyway. I've taken to putting on my iPod while I'm in the shower so I can play my "Songs to Sing" list. I totally jam, too. It's great fun. I do sometimes wonder if people outside can hear me. I'm not exactly quiet. Whatevs.

00:25 -- And then Summer kisses Tom in the copy room. As a guy, I have to say, I'm totally fine with making the first moves. It's the way of the world, and I'm cool with it. I can do it. But man is it awesome when the girl makes the first move like that. I have always loved that.

00:30 -- Summer reiterates to Tom how she's not looking for anything serious. I think this is on, like, day 32 or something. Tom, naturally, says he's OK with it. And, of course, he is not; though I'm not sure if he knows that right now. It's the way it works though.

And just a minute later, after Tom presumably sleeps with Summer for the first time, he walks outside and is all smiles as he breaks into a dance number down the street. The feeling that you could conquer the world, that nothing could ever be wrong again. Good times, man. It's an unbeatable feeling.

And strangely, this is how I feel now. I find myself dancing while I'm walking the dog, or walking through Target, or sitting on the Metro going downtown. I very often catch myself walking around with a goofy grin on my face at all times. And all this despite the knowledge that pretty much everything is uncertain for me right now.

As Leo said in The West Wing, "Act as if ye have faith and ye shall have faith. To put it another way, fake it 'til you make it." Not that I'm faking it. I honestly do feel this way. It's just a strange juxtaposition right now, and I don't know how else to explain it.

00:38 -- The moments when you connect with a person on a deeper level than just casual conversation are amazing. There's nothing better than opening up to another person for the first time and having the other person open up to you.

Look, some people just love being in love. They love the feeling of meeting someone, falling for him or her and then just being in love together and everything that goes along with it. Tom is one of those people. And so am I haha. At least I know it and I can admit it, right? I'm aware of it, and I take steps not to let it control my life. Or something. Whatevs haha.

00:44 -- The douchebag in the bar tries to hit on Summer while Tom is sitting right there with her, and makes the comment, "I can't believe this is your boyfriend." You can see she's a little out of it before then when they're just talking together, but especially after that. She looks distant and uninterested.

And you know what? I've seen that look. Fuck that look, man.

"Friends my balls." Well said, Tom. Well said, indeed. They fight and Tom leaves. Later on, Summer goes to Tom's place to apologize.

Tom wants "to know you're not going to wake up in the morning and feel differently." Summer says she can't give him that. "Nobody can."

And that, my friends, is the terrifying thing about relationships, isn't it? It's true. You can't help how you feel. And your feelings are subject to change. It's happened to me, very suddenly and very unexpectedly. And it's happened to girls I've dated. I know I want to know what Tom wants to know. That things are going to be OK, and we're going to wake up tomorrow and be happy. But I guess you never really know that, nor can you.

00:50 -- I cannot get down with this. Tom insists on asking Summer about her exes. I am way too insecure for this haha. I don't want to know anything about exes. I like to pretend they don't exist. I can't be alone in this, right? Other people feel this way, too, right? Please? Anyone? Bueller? *Sigh.

00:56 -- 167 days into the relationship and things are great for Tom and Summer. So great that it's beginning to seep into all facets of his life. His happiness with Summer is inspiring him. Life is just easy for him right now because of how awesome Summer makes him feel.

00:59 -- "On the one hand I want to forget her. On the other hand I know that she's the only person in the entire universe who will make me happy." Oh love. Such strange and disturbing contradictions.

On day 402, Tom is heading to the wedding for a co-worker. He's riding the train to the wedding, and it turns out Summer is on the same train. I think we can pinpoint the break-up around day 290 or so. So it's been a while. Summer wants to be friends with Tom and tries to talk to him, but Tom is in love with Summer. Then Tom spends the entire train ride (and subsequent wedding) talking with Summer and spending time with her, and, of course, falling in love with her all over again.

Again, this is a total me move. I have done this before. I'm sure, over the course of my entire life, I will do it again. Tom makes the mistake of thinking Summer is falling for him again, too, which is kind of exacerbated by Summer inviting him to a party at her place a couple of weeks later. Tom has no reason to think the invitation means anything, but he jumps to conclusions, as I most definitely would.

01:08 -- This leads to a great sequence where Tom attending the party is given a split-screen treatment: Expectations vs. Reality. In his expectations, Summer kisses him and is warm and loving toward him.

Reality, however, is not kind to Tom. It turns out Summer is engaged to someone else -- someone she was seeing during the wedding where he re-fell for her.

Tom goes into a tailspin, falling into a funk (which I have thankfully avoided) where he subsists on a diet of Twinkies and whiskey, which eventually leads to him quitting his job.

It's rock bottom, man. You have to hit rock bottom before you can move back up. Strangely, I hit my own rock bottom before we even broke up, and I started my own recovery with my commitment to eating better, working out, playing softball, writing more, playing music, etc.

01:15 -- After 10 or so days of Tom's funk, you see the first signs of his recovery. He's at his little sister's soccer practice with his sketchbook -- the first time he's sketched in a while, as his sister points out. And, continuing with her wisdom beyond her years (she's like 12), she provides the next piece of great advice for Tom:

"I know you think that she was the one, but I don't. I think you're just remembering the good stuff. Next time you look back, I really think you should look again."

Hot damn. It's what we do after break-ups. You idealize everything because of the hurt and because of the longing for a return to normalcy. You gloss over the negatives (and of course there were negatives. Every relationship has them.), and you focus on what was good. You only remember what was good.

01:19 -- I love this sequence. Tom wakes up. It starts with him laying in bed, casually bouncing a tennis ball on the ground. In the background, this song is playing with a driving drum beat. Slowly, Tom's casual, random bouncing becomes more forceful and purposeful -- eventually bouncing in time with the drum beat. It's Tom getting his shit together.

He gets up out of bed. He starts sketching. He starts reading architecture books. He starts looking for jobs.

Of course, as he's getting his shit together, Summer is getting married.

There wasn't ONE moment where I woke up and got my shit together. I don't live in a movie. It was a combination of things. It was playing softball and going out with my friends. It was kicking ass running and lifting weights and getting on the scale and seeing the pounds fall away. And after a while, you get to where I am now: down 25 pounds, in a sustainable work-out routine and just generally kicking ass.

01:23 -- "You're married." Summer finds Tom at his favorite place in the city. "You never wanted to be someone's girlfriend, and now you're someone's wife."

Oh, Summer: "I just woke up one day and I knew."
"Knew what?"
"What I was never sure of with you."

I have nothing against Summer here. I really don't. She was honest about her feelings and her expectations from the beginning. Tom just couldn't help himself. But man that's tough to hear. I've heard it. We all have. It sucks, man.

I'm telling you. I am Tom. I would absolutely meet a girl, have the girl tell me straight up, "I don't want a boyfriend," and I would fall in love with her anyway. C'est la vie.

01:27 -- Day 500 of Tom's 500 Days of Summer. Here's the narration.

"Most days of the year are unremarkable. They begin and they end with no lasting memories made in between. Most days have no impact on the course of a life. May 23 was a Wednesday."

Tom is at a job interview, and he finds a girl waiting there with him. This girl is played by one of the hottest girls on the planet, Minka Kelly. They make small talk, and he learns her favorite place in the city is the same as his, and she has seen him there before.

The narration again as Tom is sitting, thinking about the girl, and as he is called back for his interview. Brilliant stuff, by the way:

"If Tom had learned anything, it was that you can't ascribe great cosmic significance to a simple earthly event. Coincidence -- that's all anything ever really is. Nothing more than coincidence. Tom had finally learned there are no miracles. There's no such thing as fate. Nothing is meant to be. He knew. He was sure of it now. Tom was [Tom is called back and begins walking down the hall, only to turn around and go back toward the girl.]...he was pretty sure."

And Tom goes to the girl and asks her out. They introduce themselves, and it turns out her name is Autumn. Of course it is.

Tom gives this look to the camera, and the look in his eyes sums up everything. It's hope. It's excitement. It's everything he felt about Summer at first. The joy of meeting someone new. Then, the title card pictures change to autumn colors, and then (500) changes to a (1). Roll credits. Unbelievable. Love this movie.

The look in Tom's eyes. That feeling. It's fantastic, and I know it so well. I've felt it myself numerous times, and it's completely awesome.

It's the realization that everything really will be fine again. It's the point where you can look back and see that things happened as they should -- as they always do. Usually, you can't see that at first. Break-ups are the worst. They blind you from logic and reason. Joseph Gordon-Levitt had a great quote about being drawn to playing the role of Tom:

"I've had my heart broken before. Truly, truly broken. But when I look back at me in my heartbroken phase, it's pretty hilarious, because it felt so much more extreme than it really was. One of the things I love about (500) Days of Summer is that it doesn't make light of what we go through in romances, but it is honest about it and shows it for what it is, which is often profoundly funny."

All of us have moments during break-ups in our lives where we are undeniably not proud of the way we have acted or the things we have said. How could we be? When a relationship ends, it can feel like the most profound sadness and despair imaginable. It takes something like when Tom meets Autumn to get past it and to realize it's just the way the emotions of that situation work.

That final scene where Tom looks up at the camera is my favorite of the whole movie, and even more so now because of what has happened. I won't say it's his defining moment. Tom waking up again and turning his life around is more important. But if he hadn't been able to do that, he wouldn't have met Autumn. And maybe Autumn doesn't work out. It doesn't matter. Autumn represents moving forward and getting on with your life.

It's kind of funny her name is Autumn since I pretty much connect that season with love anyway. I met my last three serious girlfriends in the fall. So while most people probably connect the first hints of Spring and blooming flowers with love, I will always think of love when the air first turns crisp, and when the leaves start to turn. But that's a post for another day.

In the end, break-ups are the worst, and that's just the way it goes. I see a lot of myself in Tom. Maybe you end up getting back together, or maybe you're like Tom and Summer, and you don't. Whatever is meant to be will be. The key is you have to realize your version of that final scene, that moment, is coming.

And you just have to be in the right mindset for it. You have to have your shit together and be ready.

-BG

The Incredible Shrinking Brian

It's the little victories that make it fun to keep going. And, really, sometimes they aren't even that little. Today is the first real significant milestone, I think. Sometimes, I really do just want to order pizza or go to Taco Bell. But man. Days like today. Makes it worth it. It really does.

I weighed in today at 202 pounds. I started at 227 almost three months ago, and my goal to reach is 180 pounds. What does that mean? Well, it means I set out to lose 47 pounds, and I've lost more than half of that now.

That's right. I'm down 25 pounds, with 22 left to lose. I've crossed the half-way point of the race, and it's all downhill from here. From this point on, I will always have less to lose than I've already lost.

Damn it feels good to be a gangsta.

Not only that, but this weekend I put on khakis and a button-down shirt that, just a few months ago, well, let's just say I was, unfortunately, straining the threads and buttons. This weekend, however, I could pull the khakis on and off without unbuttoning them, and the shirt was comfortable again, and -- dare I say -- I think it looked pretty good compared to how it used to look on me.

I mean. Let's GO. Let us go.

Also, and this is pretty shameful and embarrassing. But, you know, I write a blog that's mostly about myself, so how much shame can I really have? That's right; not that much. And besides, it's all about some accountability for the nonsense that got me into this in the first place, right?

In the winter, it got so bad I had trouble bending over to put my socks on. Seriously. I sit down on the couch, and I lean over my leg and pull my sock on. Seems easy enough.

Except I couldn't. I could not comfortably lean over and put on my socks. I mean, what the fuck, man?

Isn't it crazy how you can look back on yourself from a time not that long ago and just marvel at the mindset you had and the things you did? Christ, man. What in the shit was I doing to myself? I really wish I could go back in time and punch myself right in the face.

But! I say all that because it's in the past! That is obviously no longer a problem, but this weekend was the first time where I really thought about it.

I took a few progress pictures, and I can see some changes. Nothing I feel comfortable showing others just yet, but eventually, maybe I will. It's only been a couple of weeks since I moved into this new belt hole. It's starting to be a little loose though!

I'm maybe another couple of weeks from moving to another new belt hole. And believe me when I say I LITERALLY have no memory of ever having to use a belt hole that far back. Not since undergrad at least. So, like seven to 10 years ago. (Sidenote: Undergrad was that long ago? Punch me in the face. Jesus.)

I did decide to skip running today. I've been having a little soreness in a muscle on my upper back since Thursday, and it actually got really aggravated when I ran on Friday. It feels better today than it did on Friday, but I don't want to push it and risk making it worse. Especially since I still walk Allie four miles every day. It's not like I'm not getting any exercise if I don't run. All the same, I hope to get back to it on Wednesday.

Otherwise, running has been going great. I'm sticking to the treadmill still for health reasons. It's almost assuredly a mental issue at this point, but I'm just terrified of running outside and having my knee or hamstring hurt to the point that I can't run at all for a while. I can't have that. Not when I'm making so much progress and feeling so good.

So treadmill it is because I feel comfortable on it. Anyway, I've been running 5Ks on the treadmill three times a week, and I've gotten my time down to around 28 minutes. And yeah, that's not a fantastic 5K time, but consider this: I ran an actual 5K last September in around 32 minutes, and I could barely run two miles on the treadmill a couple months ago.

Like I said, it's the little victories.

And we have a softball game this Friday! And depending on the next couple of weeks, I could be heading to the beach with my family at the end of July, into the beginning of August. And then I might actually be able to hit up the Technician reunion at the beach on August 7. In the meantime, I'm sticking to the plan.

It just feels so good to work so hard at something and actually achieve some results. I remember when I first saw the 227 on the scale -- ugh, and just despairing at how difficult it was going to be to change it. Here I am now almost three months later and 25 pounds lighter.

Trust me when I tell you this: it is so, so worth it. It's worth cutting out the food you've grown accustomed to eating -- all the shitty food we all love so much: the pizza and burgers and cookies and doughnuts and enormous plates of pasta. It's worth waking up a little earlier and sweating it out in the gym. It's worth everything. And it makes me want to work that much harder to get the rest of the way.

That's really the key, too. It's hard work. There's no easy way. If you find an "easy" way to lose the weight, it's almost definitely unhealthy, and it almost definitely means the weight will eventually come back. It is far more rewarding to do it the right way. I haven't been less than 200 pounds in almost two years, and I'm probably two weeks away from it again. CAN'T WAIT.

Goddamn life is good, man. Life is good.

LET'S GO.

-BG

Beware: Lots of Words Ahead

It's been a rough few months for a variety of reasons. I won't go into those reasons here because, well, that's not the point of this post.

Suffice it to say, things that usually go my way haven't for a few months. And that's OK. I'm the first to admit throughout my life, I've had exceptionally good luck. Some of that is because I work hard to put myself in position to take advantage of those opportunities, but some of it is just that I've had good luck in my life.

I understand it can't always go my way, and that's fine. What hasn't gone my way lately isn't as important as the effect it had on me for too long.

For a period of about four months starting in late January through mid-April, I got a little emo and depressed. If you know me at all, you know I'm generally a happy-go-lucky, stress-free guy who is -- probably -- painfully positive about almost everything (except N.C. State sports, but let's be honest, that's warranted). Well for the better part of the winter and early spring, I was decidedly the opposite of that.

So why write this? Because I don't know how else to deal with things, and these are things that need some serious exorcising.

What happened? I shut down. Hardly left my apartment. Became a little too anti-social for my liking. I became entirely too sedentary and gained way too much weight. At the middle of April, I recorded my highest weight ever -- a disgustingly embarrassing 227 pounds.

These things were exacerbated by a few others.

The Internet is a blessing and a curse. Because of the Internet, I had all my closest friends at my fingertips all day, every day (That's what she said?). I could talk to them whenever I wanted to, which is awesome. At the same time, it also never made me feel like I was alone. I've lived in the DC area for two years now, but I hadn't put down any roots. There wasn't anyone I could pop out for drinks with or anything like that.

In a nutshell, some change was long overdue. I was treading on dangerously thin ice, not far from falling into a far-too-unhealthy lifestyle not suitable for long-term happiness.

Ugh...end of the unhappy portion of this post already. I am not unhappy. I have snapped out of the rut I was in for too long.

First, and perhaps the thing that excites me entirely too much, I've joined a softball team! And not just any softball team. I play for the N.C. State alumni softball team in the Capital Alumni Network. If you follow me on Twitter and Facebook (as you should!) you've seen pictures I've posted of our playing fields. Which are on the National Mall. Never gets old. It just doesn't. Standing on home plate, and, oh yeah, there's the Washington Monument in the outfield.

It's an enormous league. There are 72 college teams from all across the country with alumni filling out the rosters. I get to wear State shirts and hats, and we have a dorky "GO PACK!" cheer before and after games. It, LITERALLY, makes it a million times cooler than any other softball team would be.

It is SO great. My teammates are incredibly fun people. We have a ridiculous amount of fun at the game, and then at the bar after the game. It is so comforting to be surrounded by MY shade of red for the first time in too long. No offense to anyone, but you know. I'm N.C. State. I don't play well with others.

And yes, being the huge baseball nerd I am, I am keeping track of all my statistics in a spreadsheet. Of course I am. So far, through three games, I am hitting .833 on 5-for-6 hitting, with one walk and one sac fly. I've got three singles, a double, a triple, two runs scored and four RBI. I've got a .750 on-base percentage and a 1.333 slugging percentage for a robust 2.083 OPS.

Man, LET'S. GO. And what's up this weekend? A MARATHON TOURNEY! We're playing three games on Saturday in a Big Four Round-Robin. Yes, we'll play UNC, Duke and Wake Forest tomorrow, with a break for some grilling and drinking. Now THAT'S how you spend a late-spring afternoon.

So yes! There's that. What else? Oh yes, I've lost 15 pounds since mid-April. Again, I repeat, LET'S GO. I weighed in at 212 this morning. My goal weight is 180, which I haven't seen in about five years. Fail.

What have I done? Well, I've had to back off on the running thing. My hamstring is acting up again. I pulled it pretty bad last year while training for a half-marathon, and I still feel a twinge in it when I try to run. And since I'd rather save my running for the softball field, I'm holding off on recreational running for now. Instead, I walk Allie four miles every day.

I've also started actually physically going to the gym again. For too, too long, I relied on the excuse of having a set of 25-pound dumbbells as justification for not going to the gym. C'mon man.

So back to the gym several times a week, with real weights and machines and equipment. Let's actually do some work to see some results. And I have seen some small results so far, but this is still the very beginning of a long process. While at the gym, I'm working in the bike and elliptical to see if those can take the place of running and ease the tension on my hamstring. So far, so good on that front.

But really, the most important thing is diet. If you're not eating right, it doesn't matter what you're doing as far as exercise goes. I'm using a website called sparkpeople.com. On the site, you plug in your current weight, goal weight and time frame. It then tells you how many calories (and other things) you should consume and how many calories-per-week need to be burned to reach the goal in that time frame. It's free to join, and it has a huge database of foods with the ability to manually enter your own items as well. Super helpful.

I've also been reading up on intermittent fasting. It's basically what I do anyway. You fast for 16 hours, consuming absolutely no calories in that time frame. You do all your eating in the remaining eight hours. In other words, what I do is I don't eat until sometime between noon and 2 p.m. And I absolutely do not eat after 8 to 10 p.m. The key is foods low in fat and high in protein. And portion control.

My biggest tip: ask for a to-go box with your meal at restaurants and immediately put half the food on the plate in the box for another meal.

So there you go. See? This started out kinda sad, but it turns out to be good!

Six weeks in, and I'm down 15 pounds. I have taken before pictures, but I dare not post them in public yet. As I make progress, if there are visible results, maybe I'll post them. For now, you'll have to take my word for it.

I'm also writing a lot more, working on stories that probably no one else but me will read. I'm playing the guitar every day, even though I'm not any good. I play power chords. Loudly. Boom. With the odd song I'm capable of actually playing pretty well, like Beatles' tunes "In My Life" and "Day Tripper." I don't know how or why I can play them, but they come out.

All in all, it could be worse. Just need the outstanding issues that contributed to the initial malaise to be settled.

As I have said far too infrequently lately, LIFE IS GOOD.